


One moment in time

by Aeris444



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris444/pseuds/Aeris444
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The start of the season is making Cris thoughful...</p>
            </blockquote>





	One moment in time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sparksfly7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparksfly7/gifts).



Cristiano wasn’t really sure how he ended up confessing to Sergio of all people. He supposed the Spaniard had been there at the right time and had asked the right question.

And, in the end, Sergio proved to be a great listener.

There were relaxing near the pool of their hotel, enjoying what they knew would be one of the last moment of peace before the start of the season. Cris was laying on a sunbed, sunglasses on. He had chosen the one in the corner, not wanting to be disturbed by his teammates. But, of course, somebody had to come and sit next to him. Unsurprisingly, it was Sergio. On top of it, the defender had started talking. About what, Cris didn’t know. He hadn’t listened to a word and he hoped that his disinterest would dissuade Sergio.

“Cris?” the Spaniard insisted. “You’re not listening, are you?”

The Portuguese didn’t even try to lie.

“No.”

“I’m annoying you?”

“Sergio… Why do you think I chose to sit here?”

“Oh… Sorry…”

The defender really looked sorry. A slight pout appeared on his lips and he was just about to stand up when Cris stopped him.

“You can stay if you want… But…”

“You don’t want to talk?”

“Not really,” Cris confessed.

Sergio nodded and lay on his sunbed. The sun was making his hair look even blonder. Cris was still curious about the reason behind that change. Of course, they all had teased him about it but Sergio had never really explained why he had done it. This silence was unusual for the Spaniard so Cris supposed it was personal.

He closed his eyes and once again tried to relax. He loved the sensation of the sun warming his skin. For a moment, he managed to stop thinking, to stop worrying like he had been for the past days.

"Cris? Can I talk, now?”

Cristiano sighed.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh… Hum… Sorry.”

“It’s ok… Tell me.”

Cris resigned himself to forget about his moment of solitude.

“Are you alright?” Sergio asked, almost shyly. Sergio was never shy!

“I was… Before you started talking again,” Cris deadpanned.

“No… I mean, in general…”

Cris lifted his sunglasses to look at Sergio. What was he talking about?

“You seem a little off… I don’t know. You don’t spend as much time with us… You don’t laugh…”

The Portuguese felt his stomach tighten. If Sergio had noticed it, it had to be quite obvious.

“You seem sad,” Sergio concluded.

For a moment, Cris didn’t know how to respond to that. Sergio had seen through him. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about his sad mood of the past days with somebody and even less with Sergio. He liked the man… As a teammate but they weren’t really close apart from that.

Then he realized that it would perhaps be easier to talk to someone who was not too close. And Sergio could understand as he was also a professional footballer.

He felt a hand on his thigh.

“Cris?” Sergio was looking at him, clearly worried. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s ok… But…”

“It’s just that the start of the season is approaching and… I’m thinking about a lot of things,” Cris interrupted as he finally decided to talk to Sergio.

It would definitely help to talk with somebody. It wasn’t healthy to keep dwelling on these thoughts.

“I wonder if it’s really worth it,” Cris finally confessed.

“What?”

“Doing all this… Trying to be the best, sacrificing everything to reach a goal that keeps fleeing away when you think you’ve reached it.”

Sergio was watching Cris intently. He looked like he was trying to understand the true meaning behind Cris’ words.

“You… You don’t want to stop playing, don’t you?”

“No!” Cris exclaimed.

Football was his life and he would never think about doing something else.

“It’s just that, sometimes, I wonder if I don’t give too much for it… I’ve lost so much just to be able to play and try to be the best…”

“But Cris… Aren’t you happy? You play for one of the best club in the world, the fans love you! You have a wonderful son and a beautiful girlfriend… Your family supports you…”

“I know all that and I’m grateful for it but…”

Cris looked at the other side of the pool where most of his teammates were gathered. His eyes found Kaka easily. He was always able to find him.

“I’ve given so much to be there and I’m not sure anymore it was worth it.”

“Cris… I don’t understand.”

No, of course, Sergio couldn’t understand. Cris had some many hidden secrets, concealed wounds.

“I’ve lost him because of my wish to be the best… I’m a perfectionist. I was so focused on this selfish goal, I didn’t even see he was moving away from me.”

Cris’ eyes were still following Kaka who was walking and talking with Sami.

“Ricky? But he’s still your friend!”

“He was more than that.”

Understanding dawned on Sergio’s face.

“Oh… You mean… You and he…”

Cris nodded. Sergio blushed.

Cris had never really hidden the fact that he liked boys, too. But he had never acknowledged it openly neither.

“But… He… He’s married and…”

“And he’s a catholic… Yeah. But our attraction was impossible to resist… At least for the first months. Then everything became complicated. His wife discovered our relationship and tried to cure him. As if he was ill. And I didn’t see he needed me more than ever. So she convinced him to see a psychologist and a priest. They drew him away from me. And one day, he just told me our relationship had been a mistake, a sin. That he had confessed and God had forgiven him. And since then, we’re just friends.”

“Oh! I’m sorry.”

Sergio patted Cris’ thigh comfortingly.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, you know. I was the one that made a mistake… And it was just the first one of a series.”

Sergio didn’t ask for more information but now that he had finally told somebody about it, Cris wanted to get everything off his chest.

So he told him about Fabio, too. How the Portuguese had been there for him after his break-up with Kaka, how Fabio had done everything to make him feel better. How he had offered to leave his wife and come live with Cris. How in love he had been when Cristiano hadn’t been able to see it. And how, once again, Cris’ selfish ambition had made him hurt Fabio by refusing to live with him, afraid of what it could cost him. Being a famous footballer and being openly gay was impossible. And Cris refused to be the first one to do so. Fabio had told him that if he really loved him he would have taken the risk. And he had left.

“And now, he wants to leave the club… I’m destroying everything, Sergio… My life but the lives of the people I love, too! Even my son!”

“Cris! You love him dearly! And I’m sure you’re doing everything you can to make him happy! Stop putting yourself down!”

A sad laugh escaped Cris’ lips.

“He was a mistake too, you know. One I’ve never regretted but one nonetheless. A drunken one night stand that shouldn’t have had any consequence… And then, what have I done? I’ve paid that poor girl to disappear, to leave my son… Her son. For what? To protect a stupid image! To make me look better than I really am! I’ve bought her son!”

Cris felt his throat tighten. His hand had closed in tights fist.

“And I’m not even able to spend as much time as I would like with him,” he concluded, holding a sob back.

He felt Sergio sit on the sunbed, next to him. The Spaniard gently put his arm around his shoulders.

“Cris… Everybody makes mistakes. We can’t avoid it. The important part is to learn the lessons from it. And I’m sure you’ve done it.”

“Really? That’s why, I’ve lost one of my best friend, too… Marcelo barely talks to me, now. Because I’m just a spoiled brat! I haven’t visited him once when he was injured! I was too busy… Busy with what? How could I have thought that training or media were more important than a friend? I’m an idiot, Sergio.”

“Cris… Why are you telling me that now?”

Sergio’s question wasn’t really a surprise. In fact, Cris was wondering why the defender was still listening to him.

“I don’t know… I don’t want your pity. I suppose I just needed to let all that out… And… Sometimes, I wish for just a moment away from all this. Away from the pressure, the media. A moment just for me. But it never happens.”

“You can make it happen!”

“I don’t know, Sergio… And it’s not really getting better, you know.”

“El Mister’s interview?” Sergio guessed.

Cristiano nodded. Mourinho had been like an uncle for him and now they were fighting through the media. Another loss. Another wound.

“Cris… I’m not going to say you don’t have anything to feel guilty about but… You need to look to the future and try to make up for your mistakes… You won’t go back in time but perhaps it’s not too late for some reconciliation… I’m sure Marcelo will forgive you. And your son he’s still young! You have plenty of time left to be with him!”

“I don’t know if I’m capable to change, Sergio… Perhaps I’m destined to end alone, like a poor selfish bastard…”

“Cris! Stop talking like that! It’s not like you! If you can find the willpower to train harder and be the best, I’m sure you can try to be happy, too!”

“Thank you, Sergio. You’re wiser than you look!” Cris teased, a faint smile on his lips.

Sergio laughed and it made Cris feel a little better.

“I’m not just a beautiful face and a perfect body, you know!”

“If you say so!” Cris concluded, ruffling Sergio’s blond hair.

Cris didn’t know how he ended up confiding in Sergio. But in the end he was glad he did. And when they joined their teammates in the pool he had another proof that the defender was smarter than most gave him credit for.

“You know, Cris, I’m certain there are people who could help you…”

Cristiano send a puzzled look towards his teammate.

“Help you be happy… If you let them.”

And Cris saw Sergio looking at Isco.

“I don’t know.”

“He likes you… A lot.”

Cris nodded. He had seen the lingering gazes and the shy smiles. But, once again, he hadn’t taken the time to really acknowledge them. Perhaps he was, once more, throwing away an opportunity to find the happiness he longed for.

“I’ll think about it…”

“Don’t think too hard! You’re gonna hurt yourself!” Sergio joked before pushing his teammates in the pool.

“Bastard!” Cristiano yelled.

***

Later that day, as they gathered for the dinner, Cristiano sat next to Isco. He didn’t know if he was really able not to spoil everything. He wanted to give it a try, though. And who knows, perhaps this time will be the right one.


End file.
